i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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