oh god the rape fog is back!
It was confusing and full of hummus
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
