just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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