I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
