last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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