I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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