I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
how drunk are you?
Several
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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