So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
