I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
