Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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