Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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