I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
