every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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