Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
