Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
