I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
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I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
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Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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