I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
