Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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