Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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