Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
