I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
