It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think my moral compass just broke
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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