Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
