I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
