His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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