yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
