dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
