The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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