he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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