I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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