Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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