Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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