He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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