I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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