Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
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Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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