ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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