The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
