It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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