last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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