my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
