You just made me feel so damn special
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
