love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
