He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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