And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
