they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
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The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
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I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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