the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
