I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
