He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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