my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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