Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
