Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
