You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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