ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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