If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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