matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas