You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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