It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.